"Yesterday, was TRULY -- a great day, for the City of Loa Aneles!" Because you had one happy opponent and one happy proponent.
FIRST, the proponent (Zuma Dogg), got a plate of THE MOST EXCELLENT free food, courtesy of the "Persian New Year" celebration that took place during the Council meeting (and City TV 35 broadcast).
SECONDLY, the opponent (Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa), got to meet Zuma Dogg, during each's "rare" Downtown City Hall appearances. (ZD usually goes to Van Nuys City Hall, instead of Downtown City Hall; and the Mayor is usually out of the City, campaigning for higher power. (As in office, not spirit.)
So everyone was happy: ZD got the most excellent free food offered all year at City Hall (Persian's win the "City Hall Cook-off!"), and the Mayor got to meet the Nation's foremost expert on "Methods for Management of Quality and Productivity."
Here's the re-cap of this unexpected summit of the City's two most media-prominent politcal figures:
I was eating a plate of free food from the Persain buffet, as I stood in the corridor to chamber doors.
All of the sudden, the doors bust open, and a flood of constituents, attending the Persian New Year presentation inside chambers -- come pouring out, making way to the buffet that ZD had already jacked.
Earlier, the Fire Marshall had to stop letting people in, since the chambers were so maxed out. So, as hundreds of people paraded OUT the door, and INTO the corridor past Zuma Dogg, I decided to use the opportunity (to address a pretty nice sized crowd) to spin their good experience of the mayor and his City Hall -- into something against HIM, and pro-ZD.
So I decided to kick-off a "Zuma Dogg for Mayor" campaign; because there was NO WAY I was going let 200 people walk past me, without pimpin' the moment, to the best of my abilities. (I COULD NOT HELP IT! I'm just as bad as Antonio is.)
So I start to announce in my cheesy politician DJ voice, "My name's Zuma Dogg and I’m running for Mayor in '09, and I promise to be a much better Mayor than Antonio Villagrossa -- and we all know THAT won't be too hard.
Meanwhile, some in the crowd put a fist in the air and said, "I'll vote for you Zuma Dogg", cause they already knew me. And most of the others who didn't know ZD got a nice chuckle out of it. And I got my anti-Antonio setiment out there to help spin the 200 people, the best I could, on their way out of Antonio's door. (Hello Campaign Managers of Mayoral backed Council/LAUSD candidates, y'all!)
The crowd was thinning, so I'm just about to book back to the buffet, when...I see some big cameras and lights start to slowly approach, and a crowd slowly moving toward ZD...and without having to take a step, one way or the other, here comes the mayor strolling through the mix, right past Big ZD, like the rest of the bamboozled suckers who are now gonna vote for the mayor, cause he gave them an hour on City TV 35.
Now, we all know Antonio works so hard, all the time, so I was thinking, "maybe he didn't have time to stop by the buffet himself", so I held out my plate of free Persian shrimp and said, "Mayor, would you like some free shrimp?"
He was just about to pass, leaving ZD feeling completely un-noticed, in my attempt to hopefully ruin his day, with an "in person" ZD sighting.
BUT THEN, the campaign contribution-friendly politician double takes, and he stops the media caravan (surrounding him like Britney Spears at Ralph's Malibu) dead in their tracks, and boastfully chimes out, "Look who it is!" And with a bigger smile than he has pulled out for ANY LAUSD photo op I have ever seen -- we shake hands and he adds, "You sure look like you are having fun! You are just having TOO MUCH fun! (Laughing it up and continues) You are really getting those guys. It's crazy. You're great, man."
[ZD: Huh...huh..huh...MAYOR...Damn it, I was trying to "ruin" your day, not make it!?!? Can't you EVER do something to make me happy?]
I thanked him for the kudos, but, I was kind of distracted and not paying too much attention to all of the hoopla; cause I was in the middle of thinking about how we can more quickly reduce class room size at LAUSD, how our City's infrastructure can accomodate all these high density construction projects; and was the closest medical marijuana co-op to Downtown City Hall (as opposed to the one I usually go to after Van Nuys City Hall apperances).
Then, the Mayor put the caravan back into "drive", continued down the corridor... I rushed back into chambers and ran down the aisle, to the podium, and delivered my breath public comment out of breath, almost missing it -- cause while I was outside chambers -- wasting time schmoozing with the Mayor -- his shady pro-tem, Garcetti, was calling my name to speak out against him. (Just kidding, Eric!)
BUT, SOMETHING THAT THREW ME FOR A LOOP -- and kinda confused me during the conversation: When he said, I was "really getting THOSE GUYS." (At first, I thought he meant his own paid spin doctors...then I figured out he must have meant Council. Could he have seen the thing on Weissass?)
ANYWAY, PROPS TO THE MAYOR --- he could have EASILY kept walking, with just a friendly, "hello" (or head nod) as he continued to stroll through. (He didn't turn and run in the other direction like the dispicable, public-hating, defeatest, losers Jack Weiss and Jan Perry do everytime they see Zuma Dogg. Those cowards!) The guy did a double take, stopped dead in his tracks and blew the whole thing up, right there on camera. (He didn't mind letting anyone see, at all.)
But, don't worry, Tony -- next time I visit City Hall, in person, I'll be sure and have some autographed ZD picture cards...My bad!
Zuma Dogg
Internationally Known Rapper and Host, The Zuma Dogg Show
Management Consultant, Methods For Management of Quality and Productivity
Interpretation of Deming’s 14 Points
Why L.A. Needs "Deming" To Attract International Business
Zuma Dogg's Blog for more on Deming's 14 points
